I almost lost it today

in public too.

I was at physical therapy and I was in a lot more pain than usual. I was just laying there, my ankle throbbing, unable to do anything about it. I started tearing up thinking about how helpless I was to do anything about the pain and how frustrating it was that I had backtracked so much.  Luckily I kept my composure until I got in the car, where I totally lost it on the way home. If my mom had been around, I so would have pulled a 3 year old tantrum thing.  I just want this pain to go away. I’m so annoyed with this “speed bump” and the fact that it ‘s ruining me emotionally as well as physically. Anyone who’s been hurt physically can identify, I’m sure.

I’m stressed on top of this ankle bullshit. I’m tired of not sleeping through the night and I’m tired of struggling for money. I’m just….. tired.

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4 thoughts on “I almost lost it today

  1. I did lose it. At the VA building in Philadelphia. Yelled and screamed and demanded to see a supervisor and was almost arrested by three armed guards who simply wanted to see more than once piece of ID from me.

    PTSD jumped out of me. Felt pushed into a fire-fight and wanted to “go down” swinging, not caring who I hurt, but like usual, ending up hurting myself.

    Got me calmed down. Was apologetic the entire rest of the day. Embarassed over my outburst. Have to return tomorrow. Don’t look forward to seeing the same guards.

    I know a little of how you feel.

    michael j

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