feeling invalidated

I’m getting really sick of my feelings being invalidated. Stop telling me not to get angry or annoyed. Don’t tell me I’m overreacting and to stop crying. If it’s how I feel, let me feel for fuck’s sake! I don’t tell you how you should express your emotions and I sure as hell don’t tell you not to get angry or cry.

All of my life I’ve been told these things and it’s really fucked me up inside. One of the supposed causes of BPD is emotional invalidation and I’m pretty sure it’s one of the causes of my problems. I don’t normally get angry to the point of crying but when I’m told how to feel or not feel, I do.

My mother has always been one to throw things around, curse and yell at inanimate objects, etc. I have avoided that as much as possible because I don’t want to be like that. I cry instead. I cry when I’m frustrated and I cry when I’m sad. I actually spend a lot of time crying.

I’m sick of this shit.

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6 thoughts on “feeling invalidated

  1. Wow, I relate to this SO much. Emotional invalidation…. as if squashing your feelings and ending up so depressed you can barely move is better than expressing yourself! Fuck people who tell you it’s not okay to feel and react in whatever way you need to.

  2. I know exactly what you mean. To feel is a weakness so I shut myself down go into my cocoon and take myself to the one place where nothing can touch me or hurt me anymore. I have one person in my life, my partner, why he stays I will never know. Everyone else has left my family, my children hurts the most. They don’t care. Every day is a struggle to stay alive but hell, I would not give them all the satisfaction of being dead. They would like that.

  3. I completely hear and understand and have the same issue with my mother and others in my life. I always thought I was the only person treated like this and now I don’t feel so horrible knowing that the anger I feel about not being able to express my emotions is not me acting crazy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings

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