Relapse makes me human; flawed but still human.

I ended up burning and scratching a small bit last night. It felt sooooo good too.

I hate that it feels good to do it. It makes it that much harder to stop yourself when you need to. I feel better this morning though. I’m trying to act like it didn’t happen and move on. Start counting my days again and not beat myself up. I guess it’s obvious that giving my letter opener to my therapist didn’t stop me. I will be sharing all of this with her on Monday, of course.

2 month streak is broken, start again.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Relapse makes me human; flawed but still human.

  1. You can do this; remember one day at the time. Forget about what you’ve done in the past. Just focus on today. I know this is so hard, but you deserve to take care of yourself. Have you tried ripping apart a doll, breaking plates, punching a punching bag? Those worked well for me. I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. Would a hug be out of line?

    • A hug would be fantastic. I never turn one down. I may crumble in your arms but I’d still like it.
      I usually find ways to distract myself so that I don’t do anything. It’s worked well up until now. This depressive feeling is very strong, stronger than usual.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s