No eggshells or hurt feelings please.

My therapist brought something up in session the other day that got me to thinking (like I need help in that department). She asked me what I wanted those around me to do and say so that I wouldn’t be so hurt by everything all the time. That may seem insensitive but in context, it made sense. I didn’t have an answer for her. The more I think about it, the more I become confused.

What do I want people to do? I don’t want them walking on eggshells but I want my feelings to matter. I want people to be truthful and open with me but I want them to make sure they don’t offend me. Is there a gray area for this? Am I just not seeing it?

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4 thoughts on “No eggshells or hurt feelings please.

  1. I have the same problem with that question. So many times I need people to not make my anxiety worse but I don’t want them to be overvigilant and feel like they have to just act different with me. I don’t want to end up walking on eggshells either I want people to just accept what is and be pretty laid back but accept that my feelings are real and valid and deserve to be treated with respect. Does this help? I don’t think I have the answer to that question either

  2. Whew, this is hard. Do you want total honesty or some white lies? I think total honesty is just too hard for any of us to take. Some white lies are compassionate. And remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I tend to think that way about most of my feelings; i.e., I’m in charge of my feelings, not other people. I control my reactions, and feel my feelings in a healthy manner. Hope this helps!

  3. I don’t like little white lies they drive me crazy where the person can no longer comfort or help me becuase I believe they are “just saying that”. Lies insinuate they don’t believe it. While brutal honesty is hard it does help keep it real. And I’m a real believer in some things are better left unsaid.. If I can’t deal with it my family has learned not to say it. They can believe it and think it but by not expressing it it’s easier to deal with. Lies cause so much damage anyway

    • I agree with both. I think white lies have a place but I prefer they not be used on me. I also think the truth can be very painful too. It’s hard to find the middle ground.

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