time to post entries from my little notebook i carry around with me.

* my mom misinterprets my silence and complacency as laziness and lack of drive. i’m really bottling everything up.

* my mom is aggressive and that is part of the reason i am passive.

* i tend to treat people like they are stupid or ignorant. like they should know things all of the time. i was pretty mean to my little sister and i still am. i treat her like she’s a nuisance and like she should automatically know things. am i jealous? am i a narcissist?

* i feel like guys, in general, are constantly judging me based on the “girlfriend” or “hot chick” model. this is physical and personality based. i don’t know how to just be friends with them.

* i try to be considerate of others all the time and when people aren’t the same, i get annoyed and angry.

* these mood swings are happening so frequently, it makes me want to lock myself away from everyone until they pass. the problem with that is, i end up so lonely i can’t stand it.

these are little notes i write down whenever things become too much in my head to deal with. i carry around my little pad and make sure i always write stuff down as soon as i think it. i definitely recommend doing this for those of you with a lot of anxiety and racing thoughts. it also helps with impulses and keeps me from exploding emotionally on people.


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