being open with him is exhausting. i bounce from one mood to another within seconds. when it’s all said and done though, i do feel better than if we hadn’t spoken at all. it’s difficult to be open with someone you think is bound to leave. you fear saying the wrong thing, and you do, but they’re still there 95% of the time. that ball of anxiety is gone after we’re done. it doesn’t mutate and grow larger. it doesn’t make the impulses irresistible.