Feeling guilty for feeling

Feeling guilty for feeling emotions. It’s about one of the worst things ever.

This morning I purposely kept myself in my room for fear of saying mean and hurtful things to C. I was agitated and angry with him for silly, insignificant things and I felt like throwing a hissy fit. I felt like a child. I wanted to throw things and stomp my feet like a four year old. I started crying because I felt so overwhelmed with everything. Have any of you felt this before?

Mood swings can be so absolutely overwhelming and can span the spectrum in a matter of seconds when you have BPD. Cycling between angry to depressed to agitated to sad to suicidal in a matter of minutes is one of the most uncomfortable feeling ever. It feels like you wanna crawl out of your skin. You want to punch a hole in the wall and then crawl into bed under the covers forever.

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2 thoughts on “Feeling guilty for feeling

  1. dont feel guilty its not your fault BPD is a bit** and want you to suffor fight it why fight it because you want to and you can win i never feel guilty for feeling or doing things really bad like overdoses we all feel i do i havent put on my blog how i was feeling on the new year after 12 at night becasue i know that i can cope with them feelings and they aint going to win me ive got to 29 years old and i want to live a hell of a lot longer yet just hope i can keep this spirit up this year

  2. Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. Emotionally unpredictable. I fucking hate it. I can’t just hang out with people, and just go with the flow because, I don’t know how I’ll feel in 5 hours. Heck, in 1/2 an hour. I think this is where drugs really start to play the role of emotional regulator. If suddenly a wave of sadness takes over, they’ll take an adderall. Too anxious later, take a Xanax. The quest for relief can get really messy and overwhelming. For me at least. But don’t feel guility. Remember this: When we judge ourselves harshly, we’re abusing the little child inside of us. So try exploring the emotion instead of judging it. It’ll just become a vicious cycle if you criticize it.

    -Sienna

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