Journal Entry Inpatient – January 8

I feel forever alone. I fear I will always think people want to leave me. No matter what they say or do, they will always leave and I will be alone.

I just want to curl up in bed, put calming music on, and drift off to sleep forever. This feeling of wanting to die is not an angry or energetic one. I feel calm and accepting of it. I think that’s what scares me the most. I’ve gotten to where I don’t care anymore. I know everything will be taken care of. People will be sad but will get over it. They always do.

Whenever I think about not wanting to live, I get a warm burning in my chest.

DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE

I want to die. I will die. I need to die. I am nothing.

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