Maybe I should face the reality that being alone is more convenient for me. I am less likely to hurt someone and not know it. I’m less likely to be hurt. They won’t have to deal with the fact that I’m in and out of hospitals and treatment. They won’t have to walk around my feelings. They won’t have to worry about finding my body. They won’t have to support me financially, emotionally, and physically. They can pursue a life more like the one they’ve always dreamed of. Go on, be happy.