I feel so overwhelmed.

I’m behind, again. I feel so stressed out, I could cry. I am frozen. Instead of tackling my coursework and kicking ass, like I should, and I could, I’m sitting here defeated. I feel swamped.I let it fucking happen again. It happens every time.

I’m a horrible student. I shouldn’t be in school. I feel like a failure. Negative self-talk? You betcha. Defeatist? I sure am. Biggest critic? Always have been and always will be. I am paralyzed from doing what I need to do and being responsible. I stare at my computer screen and daydream. I get depressed. I get drowsy and want a nap. I need help but I don’t think there is any. I need to tackle this on my own.

This is my life. I’m always waiting until the last minute. Scraping by. Hoping that I’ll pass instead of excelling at something I know I’d be great at. I’m not even at a “real” University yet with a full course load. If I even get there, I won’t make it past the first semester.

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