i don’t want to live anymore….

Nothing I’m doing is working.
I’m depressed. I take my pills on time and I still feel like swerving my vehicle into a tree at random intervals.
I’m numb. I’m at the IDGAF stage right now. I am eating chocolate in massive amounts.
I yearn for sleep at all times. I want to cry but I can’t.
I hate everything about myself and how I feel right now. I hate that I’m a burden. The only way I can fix that is to disappear. I smother people with my problems.
I feel nothing but self pity and it’s like poison.
No one knows me.
No one knows how I feel.
No one one understands.
This is all bullshit.
Fuck my life.

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3 thoughts on “i don’t want to live anymore….

  1. I want you to know that I’m really sorry you’re struggling right now. Sometimes I feel like a shitty person due to my anxiety and don’t see the point of living with it. I feel like I do everything, Prozac, therapy I really like multiple times a week, meditation, empathy phone calls and groups, fun new activities, and the feelings are often so similar. I get frustrated.
    I think you’re really brave and generous of you to write how you feel in such an honest and raw way on the internet. I can’t relate to every single thing you write, but I feel like I meet you, soul for soul. I want you to know that I care, and your struggle is worthwhile.
    — G

  2. I know these kind of feelings, and I know they are horrible. Unspeakably hard to go through. But I know you can survive them, and find peace – just keep fighting. Vent, sleep, eat chocolate, take your pills and wait for some of the clouds to clear. It will happen, I promise xx

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