I just burned myself for the first time in a long time. So long, I’d stopped counting. I would be beating myself up over it but it felt so good.
I feel lower than low, right now. I have so much self hate right now, I’m running through ways to make myself even more ugly, more invisible, and basically make my physical appearance mimic how I feel inside. I want to shave my head and dye it black. I want to burn my arms all over and never shower, get dressed, or brush my teeth.
I feel like nothing. I am nothing but a burden. The world would be better off without me, but I can’t even manage to properly kill myself. I’m lost.