Please consider donating so I can walk to end stigma and raise money for suicide prevention.

Please donate here

I will be joining thousands of others nationwide, this fall, to walk in AFSP’s Walk “Out of the Darkness”, to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I would appreciate any support that you give me for this worthwhile cause.

I have personally dealt with major mental illness, including several suicide attempts, as well as several family members’ struggles with mental illness. Funding for suicide prevention is integral and extremely important.

I hope you will consider supporting my participation in this event. Any contribution will help the work of AFSP, and all donations are 100% tax deductible. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), every year, almost one million people die from suicide; a “global” mortality rate of 16 per 100,000, or one death every 40 seconds. In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Please consider a donation today and maybe even joining me for the walk!

 

Please consider donating any amount you’re able to my walk for American Suicide Prevention.

http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donordrive.participant&participantID=427468

I will be joining thousands of others nationwide, this fall, to walk in AFSP’s Walk “Out of the Darkness” Community Walk, to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I would appreciate any support that you give me for this worthwhile cause.

I have personally dealt with major mental illness, including several suicide attempts, as well as several family members’ struggles with mental illness. Funding for suicide prevention is integral and extremely important.

I hope you will consider supporting my participation in this event. Any contribution will help the work of AFSP, and all donations are 100% tax deductible. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), every year, almost one million people die from suicide; a “global” mortality rate of 16 per 100,000, or one death every 40 seconds. In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Please consider a donation today and maybe even joining me for the walk!

Donating online is safe and easy! To make an online donation please click the “Support This Participant” button on this page.

Thank you for visiting my fundraising page!

PS- Please contact me if you’re interested in starting a team.
Watch this video and please, help with whatever you can.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSMQ84wORIs&feature=player_embedded

Journal entry 2/29/12

I don’t know what it feels like to not have death as an option. Even when I’m considered stable, like snow, I still think of it often. I haven’t burned myself in so long, my scars have fasted, an yet, I still think of suicide as a “get out of shitty life “free card. I stare at the gian 150 count bottle of pills and wonder if I’d make it through without throwing up first or passing out. Of course, I’d have to eat all of my Vyvanse and Klonopin too. Lamictal won’t cut the mustard. Why is this still such an obsession for me? Once it was there, in my brain, it’s like it planter it’s see to stay. I keep hacking away at the soil but to no avail. Will I always struggle with suicidality? What an exhausting existence.

Journal entry 4/18/11

I am ugly. I am fat. I should just kill myself and spare everyone the burden of taking care of me. I’m inept. I’m a waste. Who wants me? No one. I should rot in bed. I’ll never finish school. I will always fail. I find flaws everywhere I look on my body. I hate myself. Everything anyone said ever said about me that was bad, is true. When I’m gone, no one will care. I want to slice my arm open. I hate life.

things that have changed since my suicide attempt a week ago:

I am no longer allowed to keep any medication in my room or where I can easily find it. My boyfriend hides it so I don’t overdose again. I feel like a junkie.

I have to live with knowledge that my friends and loved ones are now on edge and consistently worried about whether or not I’ll wake up every day. This attention is NOT the attention I would like.

I get questioned about scars because they fear I’m still injuring myself.

I have permanently damaged my internal organs. This may be the worst yet.

I now know how it feels to wish you could go back and undo something that nearly ended your existence. It’s not something I take lightly.

goodbye

I’ve been major depressed, amongst other things, for a couple weeks now. The suicidal ideation is becoming hard to ignore. I don’t trust the hospitals around here because they suck. I’m lost. No one to talk to. No job. No leaving the bed”